Friday, January 23, 2015

I Harvested Carrots the Day Uncle Buddy Died.

They were my first successful carrot crop ever.  They were tender and sweet and delicious.  Fresh and new, a source of life given to nourish our bodies, while on this same day a special life had ended.  It all dawned on me, how ironic it was, as I stood there, bare feet on the old kitchen tile, washing the earth from each root.  Feeling tired and sad, distracted by the news I received a few hours earlier and consumed with the weight of a heart that was heavy with the loss of so many family members in the past couple of years, I peeled and chopped, and put into the pan those little nourishing carrots.  My eyes welling from moment to moment, but holding strong as to not spill over even once as I stood there, my busy hands barely holding back the sadness.

I talked to God and tried to reflect on all the good times with each of these lost loved ones that I was blessed enough to call my family.  They were the older generation, mostly my grandmother's siblings, and one beloved aunt, my father's sister.  Some passed into eternity as expected, some at a much more rapid pace, and some so suddenly and unexpectedly that it made me sick. My heart hurts for the ones left behind, the ones with so much sorrow to bear. 

I think about eternity a lot lately.  I think about my husband and I getting older, my parents getting older, my children becoming so much more independent and how life is in a constant state of change.  The days seem to string along at a monotonous pace, but when I stop and look back over just a short period of time I can see how the days, in fact, change continuously.  Life really is all about change and learning to adapt to those changes.  The older we become, the more change affects us and we notice all the details of that change with our wiser eyes.  We feel more, we love more deeply, and loss hurts.  Period.

I also think about how blessed I am that my loss hasn't been more devastating and how incredibly fortunate that makes me.  I try to take each moment as it comes, making each one count.  I try to look at loss as part of God's plan, part of my very own story.  Each love, each loss, each soul, each ache, earning a distinct part in my very own story of life.  Some chapters take twists and turns, others are as steady as the sunrise.  But all of those perfectly lovely, bruised and broken pieces are what make a story beautiful.  Those are the parts that make life an incredible, messy, spectacular ride and I can only count them all as blessings.  I'm just glad that I was blessed enough to be entwined in their stories as well, and I hope that they each can count me as a blessing to them at some point along the way to their soul's next beautiful chapter.

The night did not end without tears spilling out onto my dark, quiet pillow and my heart finding its release.   My heavy thoughts drifting into dreams, then awakening to a new day, a new page in my own story.  I intend to write the rest of my story as well as I possibly can.  And, I look forward to my reunion with all the beautiful souls who have gone on before me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Hello, quiet little blog of mine.  I seem to have neglected you for a long, long time now.  In all honesty, though, my time has been SO short in these recent months.  So short that I hardly sit at the computer at all anymore.  Instagram was a great idea, but I don't take time for that anymore either.  We won't even talk about how long it's been since I used my DSLR, and of course, blogging is just a fond memory. 

I have entered the world of full-time work (at our family's business) while homeschooling my kids....and gardening and animal tending and housekeeping and cooking and doing laundry, and keeping up with the grocery shopping and the seemingly never-ending orthodontist appointments.  My days are jam-packed with to-dos.  There is hardly a second to spare on any given day.  It's such a drastic change from the way my life used to be and, honestly, it is hard.  However, I absolutely LOVE being able to get out of the house and interact with other people.  I don't know if I'd like it as much if I weren't able to bring my kids to work with me though.  That is the part that makes it manageable and easy to love.  We're able to do our school work and then work together and laugh together and that is what makes the 12 hour days worth it.

When I get home the house work is waiting for me, the laundry is in a never-ending pile in my bedroom floor, the kitchen sink is always overflowing with dirty dishes onto the counter tops (a new dishwasher is in my very near future!), the bathrooms are in constant disarray, and a massive water leak within an exterior wall of our house means that three rooms have water damage and need a complete remodel.  But, in all the chaos, I'm trying to remind my past-blogging, mindful self to BE in the moment and be thankful for the blessings that I do have.  I'm trying to remember not to sweat the small stuff.

Today, I'm thankful for the day off, away from work at the market, although a day off means that there is MUCH work to be done here at home.  Right now, though....

  • I'm enjoying the quiet while the kids are still asleep.
  • I'm sipping a hot cup of coffee.
  • I'm listening to a Hallmark Christmas movie play in the background and that makes me very happy!   I love those movies!
  • I have a snuggly blanket wrapped around my shoulders while the sun is peeking through my window.
  • I keep thinking about my to-do list today...wash and, more importantly, FOLD all the laundry and put it away, wash the dishes, organize a ton of paperwork, do school work when the kids wake up, finish mopping the floors, feed the animals, fertilize the garden, clean the bathrooms, wash the bed sheets on the kids' beds, organize my computer desk (we can hardly clear enough space to use the mouse!  LOL!)

What I'd like to be doing:

  • Taking photos with my big camera
  • Wasting time playing around with Photoshop
  • Sitting in Starbucks, sipping a cup of hot coffee, before going to see Gone Girl.
  • Having a lunch date (that has been promised for far too long) with a dear, sweet friend.
  • Doing some Christmas shopping to stay ahead of the game.
  • Sitting on the couch with a good book.
  • Sitting in my clean house, watching Hallmark Christmas movies all day long while potato soup simmers on the stove.
  • Taking time to just BE here, now.  

Now, for a funny side note from 5am the next morning...It took me literally three hours to finish this post and combining it with photos just isn't going to happen.  Then my son came in with a broken bracket on his braces before I could click Publish.  So, we went off to the orthodontist.  I know, what a surprise!  So, finally twenty-four hours and a million thoughts later, I've come back to publish my blogging attempt.  Now, to get ready for work today.....   xo

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Catching Up - Summertime!

Wow!  Has it been three and a half months since my last post?!  Time flies so much faster than we can even imagine.  What's happened in three and a half months?  Well, lots more of the same - and a healthy dose of new things.

Lots of gardening and weeding and harvesting:

Taking care of the animals and getting our very first eggs from this spring's chicks:

A new job (for me), working at my family's farm market several days a week:

And, participating in a local farm and art faire this summer while representing our business:

Also, I'm trying to remember to pause and enjoy the simple things that make up the bigger picture as my time feels like it's being consumed faster than I'm able to keep up:

The job looks like it may be a more permanent addition to my lifestyle rather than a passing, seasonal type of thing, so I'll have to figure out how to make a job, my boys' part time jobs (also at our market), homeschooling, gardening, raising animals, spending quality time with my girls, and keeping good, wholesome food on my table each and every night all mingle together in harmony during the coming months.  My cup - and plate - runneth over!  But, I am ever so thankful and enormously blessed.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Another New Addition!


We have five new babies to love!  We've never raised ducks before so this will be a brand new adventure! We're in love already.  I don't think there is anything quite as loveable as that baby duckling face.  They are the sweetest things, and such a joy to watch.

They're still quite small, only about 12 days old, so they're being kept in our bathroom under a warming lamp until the weather decides to warm up just a bit more at nighttime.  They also like to take a swim in the bathtub everyday.  They are funny to watch as they play around in the water.  The kids get a big kick out of them.


We have one White Pekin, one Buff Orpington, and two Khaki Campbells, all female, and one Mallard male.  The White Pekin duckling is growing much more rapidly than the other breeds.  She's really beautiful!  The Khaki Campbells are the better egg layers of the flock - up to 320 eggs per year!  I think that's awesome and I can't wait!  I also can't wait until they're big enough to go outside on their own and swim in their pool.  And, so I can have my bathroom back in useable shape.  It has been a chick nursery since early February and now we've moved the chicks out and the ducklings inside.  I'm ready for a good bubble bath myself - minus the ducks! 

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Chick Overload : At 5 Weeks!

In case you couldn't tell, we are thoroughly enjoying our chickens this year.  Our White-Crested Polish chicks are the show-stoppers.  Everyone loves watching the "hair" develop.  They're so funny to watch, too.  I mean, how can you not absolutely love a couple of characters like this?

Our Buff Orpington Ladies are quite beautiful, and are the biggest of the hens at this stage.

Miss Barnevelder is looking quite pretty in her dark colors.

I love the speckled pattern of our Speckled Sussex.

Those are our Red Cochins in the background.  Their feathers are still developing and they don't have quite as much feathery action, as does our White Cochin, on their legs and feet just yet. 

Our Blue Cochin, it turns out, is actually the White Cochin I just mentioned.  Either way, she's a beauty!  Look at those beautiful full-feathered feet and legs.

Friday, March 21, 2014


Rest in Peace, my beautiful boy.  I'm so glad you were ours. 

You will be missed.